I'm confused, Key Bank. I'm not sure what exactly you take me for, or who exactly you think I am. Considering my last name doesn't start with a K and end in 'Ardashian', you should at least be smart enough to realize that I'm not rolling in the Benjamins.
However, if any confusion was still present, at least be a normal person and make shallow judgments based on my outward appearance. Aside from my car, the most expensive thing I own are my Coach purses, which are donned on a daily basis. However, other than that, on the days where I do feel like "dressing up", I'm still wearing jeans, boots, and usually a sweatshirt. I'm not frosted in diamonds causing glares from all angles, and when you need my debit card to look up my account, I don't do that annoying thing where I look through all pockets in my wallet, because I just have "oh SO many cards, because I'm OH SO RICH".
No.
So then why on earth would you assume that it is okay to charge me with a monthly fee unless my account is at or above $300? I'm a college graduate trying to stay afloat, and you slap me with this charge? You're supposed to be my friend, and take care of my money, and hold onto it for me, all 25 dollars of it. No where on my license does it say 'Moneybags', so why do you think I just happen to have 300 dollars in savings that I can casually continue to build? If I was rich, I wouldn't bank with you losers in the first place. You think Jay-Z and Beyonce use Key Bank? Hell no. Were just a regular bunch of average Joe's. You're charging ME a fee to hold MY money, that I earn? It's not like you're holding it in your hands. It's locked away in some vault, and I highly doubt you even remember it's there, so this extra fee of yours is bologna.
The phrase "nothing comes for free" is starting to become more and more apparent, however charging a fee cause I'm not up to your ballin standards not only crushes my already low self esteem of just how poor I really am, but also reminds me how much I actually despise this bank. The worst part? Every bank is starting to do this cool little trend, so at this point changing banks won't do much but change the victim of my wrath.
Womp.
