Wahhh.

I'm confused, Key Bank. I'm not sure what exactly you take me for, or who exactly you think I am. Considering my last name doesn't start with a K and end in 'Ardashian', you should at least be smart enough to realize that I'm not rolling in the Benjamins.

However, if any confusion was still present, at least be a normal person and make shallow judgments based on my outward appearance. Aside from my car, the most expensive thing I own are my Coach purses, which are donned on a daily basis. However, other than that, on the days where I do feel like "dressing up", I'm still wearing jeans, boots, and usually a sweatshirt. I'm not frosted in diamonds causing glares from all angles, and when you need my debit card to look up my account, I don't do that annoying thing where I look through all pockets in my wallet, because I just have "oh SO many cards, because I'm OH SO RICH".

No.

So then why on earth would you assume that it is okay to charge me with a monthly fee unless my account is at or above $300? I'm a college graduate trying to stay afloat, and you slap me with this charge? You're supposed to be my friend, and take care of my money, and hold onto it for me, all 25 dollars of it. No where on my license does it say 'Moneybags', so why do you think I just happen to have 300 dollars in savings that I can casually continue to build? If I was rich, I wouldn't bank with you losers in the first place. You think Jay-Z and Beyonce use Key Bank? Hell no. Were just a regular bunch of average Joe's. You're charging ME a fee to hold MY money, that I earn? It's not like you're holding it in your hands. It's locked away in some vault, and I highly doubt you even remember it's there, so this extra fee of yours is bologna.

The phrase "nothing comes for free" is starting to become more and more apparent, however charging a fee cause I'm not up to your ballin standards not only crushes my already low self esteem of just how poor I really am, but also reminds me how much I actually despise this bank. The worst part? Every bank is starting to do this cool little trend, so at this point changing banks won't do much but change the victim of my wrath.

Womp.

My email to Netflix...yes I actually sent this. Let's hope he writes back ;-)

Dear Reed Hastings, Co-Founder and CEO of Netflix,

While I kind of sort of appreciate your "sorry, but I'm actually really not sorry" apology that was personalized and sent to me, I just don't buy it. I feel as though someone has warped your mind and you're currently being controlled by aliens. Your idea of creating "Qwikster," as a DVD-by-mail program and keeping Netflix as an 'online steaming only' site, is probably (aside from Cumberland Farms debating on whether or not to discontinue the grape flavored slurpee), one of the worst ideas I've ever heard.

The name Qwickster alone is a complete and utter failure. The fact that you've suddenly morphed into a 13 year old girl who thynks itz kool 2 change werdz AnD spEll dem lyke Dis is unbecoming and nauseating. Newsflash kimosabe, someone else already came up with the idea to change the spelling of 'quick' and make it something cool and original...the creators of Nestle Quik, that chocolaty drink that was popular when I was a kid!!! But you know what wasn't popular, Reed? The fact that you had to measure out the chocolate powder just right, put it into the milk, and stir it to perfection. We're in a very fast-paced, digital time period, and this DVD by mail phenomenon will die out faster than that chocolaty drink. Guess what happened when kids were totally OVER the manual labor of stirring that chocolate powder till it mixed together into foamy frothy deliciousness? They said "F this" and grabbed a Yoo-Hoo instead! That is exactly the same path your Qwickster company is going to take, only instead of grabbing a jug of already mixed chocolate milk, they're gonna get on their underrated Redbox grind and start using that as their source of cinematic entertainment. Though I was skeptical at first, Redbox is pretty cool and has a wide selection of movies that I only pay a dollar for, AND while at first they were few and far between, they're becoming similar to pimples on an adolescent and are popping up everywhere.

I feel like you're just a mess, and this email you sent me is a desperate attempt of reaching out for help. Like you knew we were on the verge of a break up and you just threw out a Hail Mary hoping it would save you and we'd go out on a dinner date to Friendly's and talk about how each one of us is going to try and make it work. However, if I were to work on anything during your long period of unemployment, I would work on your apology skills because to basically tell me you've made me a double stack of pancakes, but I have to travel across town to get the maple syrup and butter, is just not going to work for me.

My birthday is in 39 days, which gives you plenty of time to redeem yourself. I really enjoy skittles, and I've always wanted an edible arrangement, but I'll leave it up to you to decide on the best approach to win back my friendship. Until then, consider my subscription cancelled, and consider your Qwickster plan to be one of the biggest abominations in history since Elektra, denim on denim, and Heidi Montag's musical career.

Now go stare at the wall and think about what you've done.

Love,

Tori

Tuesday is the new Friday. Kind of. Not really.

I've decided that today, and every Tuesday to follow shall be renamed to...


INSPIRING/AWESOME/WEIRD/COOL/CREEPY/CLASSIC/SCARY/AMAZING MOVIE OF ALL TIME TUESDAY.


And I guess I'm not as cool as the other bloggers because I failed to [insert amazing alliteration here] so that the title can just flow delicately off the tongue, but I think inspiring/awesome/weird/cool/creepy/classic/scary/amazing movie of all time Tuesday sounds better because depending on what genre the movie is, you can select the best adjective and apply it as you please.

So I think my way is MUCH more enjoyable. Just saying.

Sooo, today's inspiring/awesome/weird/cool/creepy/classic/scary/amazing movie of all time is........


BAM!

The greatest movie of all time, the Little Mermaid. Classic yes, but more than that, this movie proves to be inspiring. I don't care if it's a Disney Movie because as a child, and even now, this movie remains a favorite of mine. An inspiring story about a young girl who was trapped in Maine (or underwater...) and wanted to break out and see the rest of the world and experience all the thrills, trials, and tribulations life had to offer, without the constant looming opinions and judgements being shot at her by all angles of those present her confined life.

At least that's what I think it's about now. 18 years ago I really just thought it was a pretty mermaid with red hair swimming around and singing songs. And that worked for me.

Anyways, this movie is always going to remain a classic in my heart. Despite the catchy songs and that undoubtedly 'feel good' vibe that you get from the movie, I feel as though it resonates directly with me, so much that sometimes I think it's really ABOUT me. Don't think I'm crazy. Here is why.

Ariel is the youngest of like 20 sisters, I am the youngest of 4. So I guess that doesn't really match up, but still, were both the youngest and that is a blessing wrapped in a curse at times.

Ariel is a very curious and headstrong young girl. I WAS as well. But not anymore because I've totally grown up. ;-)

Ariel had a friend named Flounder that was her sidekick. I, um...didn't have a friend named Flounder. But I had a dog named Sadie and when she wasn't being psycho I guess she was kinda like my sidekick...except for when I tried to walk her and I'd end up with grass stains on my face.

Ariel had a protective father who was worried for her future and wanted the best for her, all the while fearing the unknown and struggling with the inevitable fact of his daughter growing up, eventually knowing that she would have to make a path all her own. Also, in the scary sad scene of the movie where King Triton sees all her gadgets and gizmo's aplenty that she had collected from land, he gets REALLY mad at seeing everything and blasts it all to smithereens with his trident/pitchfork thing.

So that has never happened to me, and though I'm finding it difficult to make a direct correlation between that scene and my life, I do remember one time I went shopping and bought way to much stuff and then my Dad came home and saw everything and he didn't have a gold trident or smash everything up but the face he made was somewhat similar to King Triton's.

See? Equally just as scary.

All joking aside, anytime I think of this movie, it reminds me of my childhood. It's just one of those gems that has stayed with me, and I think it'll always give me that part of my life back, no matter how old I am. It's a classic movie and I still own the fact that I know all the words to "Part of Your World"

Maybe a karaoke rendition is in order?

Enough Is Enough

Funny, yet true.





I'm really not sure what's going on with me these days. I think maybe I'm fed up, and after 10 or so years of dealing with this issue and being able to understand fully what is going on, what the word means, and be able to witness daily how freely it is being used, I guess something just kinda snapped.

I'm not really sure where to begin because this entire post is going to make me sound "preachy" and to me that's a trait that has a negative connotation. I'm feeling as though it will be taken in the wrong sense, and either be offensive, or taken too critically. But then again, why am I worried about being offensive to others when they absolutely don't care whatsoever, or even BOTHER to take into account whether or not they are being offense to me?


In a way, I've reached the end of my rope with this N word frenzy. The constant word-vomit attempt of using it in every form of communication is getting old, and I'm VERY tired of seeing it posted all over the Internet, as if it has somehow been deemed an accurate form of speech.

The N word, is not a colloquialism. It is NOT a type of slang that is ordinary and common and can be used freely without any type of second thought. It doesn't make you cool. It doesn't make you smart. It honestly makes you look uneducated, ignorant, and extremely stupid. So why is EVERYONE saying it? I see and hear young kids in the supermarket saying it to each other, kids that can't be any older than 15. Why is it coming out of everyones mouths? Ask yourself this question, in this exact form. "Why, the FUCK am I using this word?" Then, try and come up with an answer that doesn't make you sound like an idiot.

The race issue in using the N word is the fact that it's so widely used among celebrities, rappers, and those "role models" that we all seem to look up to. If they can use it in songs and in their everyday speech, why can't we? But it's more than that. It's NOT okay, and it's something we should NOT condone. Especially when the word is being used by African-Americans.


I looked it up (not that it was necessary) and interestingly enough, the word is not synonymous with "friend", "pal", "buddy" nor does it have any positive description whatsoever. In fact, despite my limited knowledge of all the historical details that I probably should be aware of at my age, I DO know that this word was used to all African-Americans by the overseers during slavery, usually before or after they got whipped or beaten to death for not completing their work quickly enough. It was a word that was MEANT to be hurtful, and MEANT to be derogatory. It wasn't used in a positive manner that many people just love to use today. So WHY are we taking that word, a word that means the lowest form of any species, removing the "ER" from it, adding in "A" to the end, and regurgitating it into a popular word that has a positive attachment? It's not okay, and the fact that it is being used not only by white people, but also by black people who KNOW what the word contains, and who probably have great-great-great-great-great-great-great (etc) family members who have most likely BEEN there, is sad and disgusting.


How would you feel if you had past family members who had to go through those terrible times? You should put your head down in shame to think how hurt they would be if they came back and could SEE how freely the word was being used today. Do you really think they'd be appreciative of the fact that you're taking a word with a horrendous meaning and using it in every form of communication possible? It's ridiculous that it even has to come to that.

I think many people would say to me "This is just a part of our world that you are going to have to learn to accept". Well I can't do that anymore. I've been accepting this, keeping my mouth shut about it, and turning my head from this for far too long, and it seems pitiful and shameful of me to do so any longer. This is my race, I am black, I am African-American, so when you're using this word, you're offending ME and everything that I stand for. Despite the eye rolls, and the laughter that this post will probably receive, this is just something I cannot let go. It's pathetic, and the fact that we live in Maine and "have like, 50 black people total" is no excuse. Educate yourself, travel, see things, meet people, and branch out from the callowness mindset that you have adapted. The ignorant shell that so many people are building around themselves is toxic, and will make its way directly to the next generation, leaving them an uneducated product of their own environment, thus dooming us for a future change in society.

Some people are passionate about music, sports, writing, singing, acting, dancing, etc....well I am passionate about this, and to see what I have seen, and to hear what I have to hear on a daily basis is too much for me. I don't really care what you substitute the word with - swear more, bleep it out like a television show, and do whatever else you need to do in order to be able to receive your daily satisfaction for using offensive wording in a different way. Make a change and realize you look like an asshole when you say it, and if it's a habit, (which is equally pathetic) break it. Do you really want to promote and spread something that is so painful? I don't care if you're "not saying the whole word" or "only use it around your friends". It's offensive, annoying, and completely and utterly unacceptable, and the fact that I can point out over 20 places daily where it's used, is ridiculous. Seriously educate yourself, and LEAVE MAINE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE AND REALIZE THERE ARE OTHER CULTURES OUT THERE. And as eloquently as I can state the most important piece of this post that I hope you take with you and share with others, do me, yourself, and those of the past and present a solid and stop using the fucking word.


-T

Inflation.

Cue my Netflix rant in 3....2.......1...

THIS IS BULLSHIT. It really is. I loved netflix. I adored it. If it was a person, I actually might have married it. I was gonna name one of my kids middle names Netflix.

Way to ruin it, ya jerks.

$9.99. A glorious price. A fantastic price for all of us struggling to even make the extra buck. After an 8 hour shift at work, do you know what I love to do? Come home, have a little glass of red, and find a movie OR tv show to watch on my beloved netflix. It was just fantastic. For 10 dollars a month. I could (almost) stream anything I wanted at any time I wanted, and it was WONDERFUL. Did I mention I loved it? Oh yeah, and just one more benefit. No big deal or anything, but Netflix ALSO would let you rent out 1 DVD at a time of your choice, and send it back whenever the F you'd like to. Cue the harp, cue the angels, cue heaven. Cause that's what it was.

ALL.FOR.10.DOLLARS.A.MONTH.

Then, one day Netflix decided to go batshit crazy and ruin everyone's lives by raising the prices to a ridiculously steep 15.98 a month to do THE EXACT SAME THING I WAS JUST DOING AND PAYING 10 DOLLARS FOR.

Cool. I don't get it. It was a great deal, probably the best in the entire world, and you go RUIN it. Now, everytime I type in Netflix on my computer, or browse through it at home on my Wii, I'm bitter. Sure, I'm still keeping my plan for now...till I go broke. But I'm bitter when I watch Intervention now. I'm bitter when I watch Sleeping with the Enemy. I'm bitter when I watch Mad Men. (which isn't actually that great of a show, or does it get better after 2 episodes?Cause I'm bored.). I'm just bitter, because I know I'm not getting these fantastic movies and shows for a STEAL of 10 bones. Nope, now Netflix is just like everything else. Pricey, and just BARELY worth it.

You know what Netflix used to be? A sneaky little secret. Like everyone knew about it obviously, and the price of 10 dollars was SO amazing, that it felt like it was a little secret that we all shared together. Like when you passed a note in class, instead of saying "Do you like me? Yes? No? Maybe?" It would say "Guess what? Netflix is only 10 dollars a month". And you, and the person who you passed the note to would share a little grin. Cause it's just too awesome.

Now, Netflix is the equivalent to an expensive stepchild that I keep around because I feel obligated, and because I love it, even though it really, really irritates me and constantly makes me wonder whether or not to give it up for adoption.

ugh. End rant.

xo

That light....

"Spiraling out of control" used to be a phrase coined by me and my best friend. We would mostly use it when our lives became just too ridiculously wild to comprehend, and (well, most of the time) the phrase had a positive connotation that was linked to it somewhere undeneath the obvious side effects that it caused. Mostly, it was because we had accidentally slept through way to many classes or partied way too hard (if that's even possible), but after it was said, a smile or at least a playful smirk would follow, and it would be something both of us would and still do laugh about now that it's over.

However, spiraling out of control in college, and spiraling out of control in the real world are just two extremely different things. One is fun, and the other one is, well...depressing.

A couple months ago, I felt as though I entered this chaos-causing whirlwind that I just could not get out of. To spare the eye rolls of the above 40 crowd reading this blog, I WONT say I had a quarter-life crisis (even though I did), but rather I'll say everything around me came temporarily crashing down.

To deviate from this conversation though, WHY is it every time I tell someone over 40 that I'm having a quarter-life crisis, they roll their eyes, sigh, and pat me kind of sympathetically but also kind of forcefully on the back? Are "children" in their 20s not allowed to go through crisis, or are our crisis's just not serious or life shattering enough to be TAKEN seriously? Graduating from college and entering the real world for the first time is an emotional and slightly depressing change of lifestyle, so "crisis" seems the only word appropriate to describe the symptoms that take place. No, I don't have a mortage payment or kids, but I'm still stressed out! I guess until I'm 40, I just wont understand, but if you're in your 20s and feel like you re spinning in nauseating circles trying to figure out your life, I'm pretty sure you're having a quarter-life crisis too. So go ahead and represent. Just sayyyyin.

Anyways, the most interesting part about those last couple months is that despite the circumstances, I actually felt myself changing and growing, and learning, which is something that you rarely actually get to watch yourself do. Most often, the reality of what you learned doesn't set in til several years later, when you have that "Ohhh" moment of recognizing the lesson you learned, usually because it's smacking you in the face.

I feel like I changed, matured, and learned several life lessons and was taking notice of it all. Suddenly I felt that urge of wanting more for myself, and wanting better for myself. I feel like that change is something that is so profound when it happens, that for even just a split second, you feel yourself growing up. It's that light at the end of the tunnel that somehow transforms into maturity, courage, and strength, and guides you through the difficult times that try and suffocate you.

Though I'm still changing and learning and growing, I feel like I've finally got my two feet planted in a good place. I'm looking forward to the future and what it will bring, and I feel like the positive light that is undoubtedly waiting for me is the motivation that I have and will continue to need, in order to reach my goals.

xo.

I Heart Fall

If you're not in New England during Fall, you need to temporarily relocate. Despite my many accusations of Maine being "extremely boring", "extremely lame" and "extremely uneventful", if you're not here for Fall, and more importantly, fall foliage, you are undoubtedly missing out.

Despite my biased opinion of fall being my favorite season, not only because it holds my birthday (Oct 29th if you forgot, and if you did forget that's a sin), it also holds ALL of my favorite things. Apple picking, apple crisp, pumpkin carving, pumpkin seeds, apple cider, haunted hayrides, haunted houses, the crisp smell that takes over the air, the crunching of leaves, the smell of spices that take over my house, etc, etc ,etc. Basically, I love fall, and now that Labor Day is over, signaling the end of summer, I can really start looking forward to the changing of the seasons :-)